08.21.09

Love and Happiness Forevermore

Posted in Monthly at 6:51 am by Pasha

By Pasha Holiday

There are more cheesy ways to describe my wedding and how I feel about our marriage than is allotted to one has-been bride. The pungent blue cheese is a flame in my soul. It is my heart that is ever grateful and a mind that refuses to quit living my favorite moments over and over again. And when all the cheese has been eaten and all my savored memories faded, I will still be living the dream with my heart and married to the man I love.

Just waking up on August 15 felt good. It felt very right. The sun soaked in through the linen curtains of the “Groom Room.” My eyes peeked open nearly the same time as his. And we chided together; Today is the day we celebrate our marriage vows. There was only minimal prep left to do on Saturday as each of our friends and family had busted their butts, working endlessly at each their own craft and expertly pulling our day together. My morning was greeted with a hot cup of coffee, a living room/party house decorated professionally, a fridge stocked with appetizers waiting to be assembled and a momma who was already in tears.

My mom has held my hands every step of this journey and all my journeys that preceded marriage. In a way we both knew that when Matthew reached for my left hand and placed a band on it, one of her hands would drop to her side and mine would be cradled by his. He would now always be the first to guide me, the first to decide which path we will travel together. My mommy will never let go of my other hand. I simply cannot let her. I have the rest of my life, the important things, to work out. My mind cannot grasp having children without my own mother squeezing my hand at least a little. But that day, she gave nearly all of her second-youngest over to a man that she has grown to love and trust as her own son.

I called her “The best oldest sister” but Gleamer is beyond that. With older sisters a bride can always expect some advice to be given and a little “do it like this.” Gleamer only gently led me in the right direction and stepped back if I wanted something my way. She has been there for me every second … calling my groom out four years ago when he was being whiny (her exact: phrase, pouty pout pants,) encouraging me to have the wedding of my dreams and never ever faltering by taking the easy way out. Even when I tried to back out of her making our delicious wedding cakes, she stood her ground. Although it meant her baking took hours away from her children, it meant she had to deliver the fragile angel food cake in the rain and whip cream during the cocktail party. She never ever once uttered a bad word about it. And her cakes were truly wonderful. My bespoke angel food was covered in real, fresh cream and berries, Matthew’s carrot cake muffins were each marked with a K for Krise, When my oldest sister and I cut the cake together, it was a perfect moment that I could have only shared with her.

While my second-oldest sister’s style is light years from Gleamer’s, it was a necessary component for our wedding. From the moment I sent out the word of wedding location, dates and details, Sunshine was on board. Even though she is a student with a baby, she never tried to get out of being there. She would beg, borrow and steal if it meant being there for me. While the baby, Bella, kept her from much of the pre wedding prep, the post wedding barbecue was officially handled by the Duchess of Charcoal. Even though we were all running on the fumes of love by Sunday, Sunshine came in and dominated the copious amounts of grilling: 20 lbs or Chivettas chicken, 20 lbs of Brazilian steaks, 50 sliders and at least that many hot dogs and sausages. And packets of sautéed mushrooms and onions. She sweat for hours in 90 degree heat at the four scorching grills. And in the end the food was delectable, a spread that was perfectly cooked. And not a single person got food poisoning!

My third sister, Vrolet, knows us better than anyone. The Draggett family has come to visit us many times and knows our lives well. Although she has too much to do and is busy always, Vrolet is almost always at the receiving end of my frustrated phone calls. When I am truly trying to figure things out, when I am terribly confused, I call Vro for an honest opinion. I am never afraid to tell her how bad an argument has gotten or how wonderful an evening has been. During the week, Vrolet took time from her burgeoning family and gave it to my little one. She and her husband filmed all of the moments that made the week so fabulous … it seemed like one of them always had the digital recorder. And when a frozen computer erased parts of it, Vro came to me swollen with tears. While neither one of us could predict that happening, there was something very special that came from it. I have always known how much we mean to one another, but in that moment, when she bravely told me the news, I could see her heart breaking and her love for me and Matthew pouring from it. Videos fail, and batteries will always die, but there will never be another sister with so much unwavering love as Vrolet.

Fresh off of her wedding just more than a year ago, Paulaya really understood all that goes into a great event. She and her husband did more than just participate, the music that they gave to us really set the entire evening and following day. With each song more groovy than the next, the ceremony CD that they made and we played had all of our guest dancing into the night. When one song would end, the guests would beg for more. Even faulty speakers and skips could not hold it down. The guests never stopped moving to the Grocott’s beats. And even though she is rarely in the kitchen and barely ever cooks, Paulaya wore and apron over her pregnant belly and sliced and diced for hours. Singing in the kitchen with my sisters, what more could a bride ask for?

My only little sister, Sparkelynn, showed every other guest what true sisterly love is. She toted her five-day-old (not a misprint, really, only FIVE days) on a plane and made it to North Captive to be with us. In her eyes you could see exhaustion and strain. But she never once said it, never even batted a beautiful eyelash. Instead she was there for every moment, for every second. With little baby Pepper in her arms, my little sister showed love greater than anyone could imagine.

There were so many others that contributed in such amazing ways. My new in-laws gave generously and pitched in on decor, food, wine and the gigantic helper, with clean up. The groom’s brother played taxi driver and assistant. Our best friends each helped with everything from prep, to photo booths , pictures, great laughs and support. Adee and Brian decorated the entire space with only my cry for help to guide them. Working in tandem and never becoming cross at one another, they are an inspirational couple.

Words cant describe how lucky I am to have sisters, and on that token, to have their husbands. Joe and Steve took endless professional photos; almost as if in a competition! Steve was our officiant, writing elegant vows that we will cherish forever. Bean never stopped taking care of the little ones so Vro could participate; Nor did he put down the camera so our joy could be documented. Dan manned the grill with Sunshine, who insists he was responsible for the juicy steaks. And Timmy, he went and picked flowers and made a bouquet. In the pouring rain and with a baby and toddler on board, he went and made me wedding flowers. All of these men did these things because they care for us but also because they love their wives and long to see them filled with joy.

I will never forget these touching gestures and moments that each person gave to us. There really are too many to name every person. Mostly we cannot believe the outpouring of love from people who traveled by planes (a few missing flights), by 15-passenger vans (really moving cargo) and family trucks loaded with supplies, by boat (Island Girl Charters was great) and finally by golf cart around our own little paradise.

On the morning that I said my vows to Matthew, I took a leisurely jog and stopped to see all of my sisters. I felt at peace and perfectly ready. I was never rushed or jarred. He made us taco salad and we laid down for a rest in the afternoon. My momma curled my hair and my sisters helped me into my jewelry and my gown. That day I was so unbelievably happy and perfect. It was just the way God had intended.

My love is still overflowing as the tears still come and go thinking about the beauty of our wedding. The joy of the happiest day of my life will forever lead my heart.