11.17.15

The Price you Pay for Unconditional Love

Posted in Monthly at 9:03 am by Pasha

By Pasha Holiday

There is the sweetest thing that happens when you have babies. They love you beyond love you. They kiss you constantly, they want to be “uppy” always, they don’t want to just sleep with you-they want to sleep on you. It’s a super never ending love fest.

But there is a price to pay for all the unforgiving love.

You pay for it in sleep. Most mamas and papas will tell you, you have never been sleep deprived, until you have had a baby. You might think studying for the Bar exam, or partying all night and making it to work at 8 am is exhausting. You ain’t seen nothing until you have seen deprivation at the screams of a sick kid.

And here is the thing, you can never “catch up.” In the pre-kid days, you could just sleep after work, take a nap, sleep sound the next evening.

But unconditional, joyous love changes that.

It’s the teething that keeps them awake until midnight, then the fever that wakes them up at three. By 5 am they are back down again, only to rouse you at 6 am for milk. So you get up. You pour coffee into a sippy cup, cheerios into the dog’s bowl and milk into the flower pot. You shed a tear, wipe it away, and start over again. Mostly you are not cursing the extra work, but the exorbitant $7 a gallon milk and fresh coffee you wasted. Except you drink the coffee. Out of the sippy cup. Lid on and all.

And you go about your day in the fog. The old parental fog. It’s like a clear mist that shields your eyes from the hair your kid cut “all by myself”, the stock pot being used as potty and the fact that your kid has been wearing the same mismatched outfit for two days. Because you simply can’t fight all that through the haze.

Tonight will be different, you know it will. The kids will sleep, you will sleep, hubby will wake you with gentle kisses, a morning delight and a cup of coffee (in a mug). But then it isn’t.

It is like groundhog day for the next five nights. Cumulatively you have had 10 hours total sleep. Your haze has turned you into zombie mode. You haven’t washed yourself in the past three days and you’re pretty sure the kids are surviving on crackers and air at this point.

And then a miracle happens.

They all go to bed at 7. You drink enough red wine to sleep through a tsunami. And for one beautiful, wondrous, and unlikely night, you all sleep. Like the dead.

The next day you are greeted by little arms that squeeze your neck with love. Eskimo and butterfly kisses grace you at wake up. Nobody screams for muffins or bagels. And your husband made the coffee for once.

And in that moment, you look at your kids, playing with one another, laughing, eyes shining. And you know, the the price you pay for this love is on sale. It’s the best, most important and rewarding love you have ever known. You would happily pay the premium.